.....to love

 LOVE 

Oh to experience love, butterflies in your stomach, the excitement when you hear their voice 

We tend to  romanticize the idea of love until  it loses its magic, we mistake romance for love, kisses on the forehead, red roses every evening ,dates and baecations , back rubs and magical sex. Don’t get me wrong I want my life to be one long romantic episode but I also want it to have substance.

What do we have after all that?  do you find pleasure in their presence? can you sit and talk to them for hours? can you sit with them comfortably in silence ? do you trust them, trust their judgement? What happens after  everything fades? Will you still have a friend? A companion?

I always say i want to be sober in love, what good does it do you to be drunk in love?, to see no fault of theirs,arent you afraid of a perfect man/woman?

I Once loved a man whose flaws were non-existent to me , he wasn’t even my “spec” but I found him to be perfect! My brain!!! ,my brain  refused to work with my heart,there was no mediation on this case, Logic prevailed. I told myself i could not marry this man, if  i am so blinded by the love that i have for him that i see no wrong ,no red flags, then i cant marry him , i know love, i know how it makes people submit and i do not submit to men,  mortals? NO! you take away my essence by making me submit to love.

To know what’s for you — you have to know what you can and can’t tolerate and i can’t tolerate being drunk in love

I understand who i am and what feeds me outside of someone else. The biggest mistake people make in a relationship is becoming someone they’re not . A mold to fit a lover’s preference. I believe a good partner is someone who can only complement me, not ‘complete’ me. 

Overtime you lose a sense of who you are when you commit to partner’s preference and neglect who you really are - A distasteful marriage.

“love without consciousness becomes control” theres nothing romantic about being drunk in love,true love comes with freedom,true love liberates.

Love for me is to make room not to tolerate, tolerating  is to discomfort yourself , i want to make room for you in my life and i want you to do the same for me , I want to be with a man who understands the value of being with me, I am not a seasonal fruit , I am water ,you could survive without but what an unhealthy life that will be.